A friend asked me to write a mean poem about her. I'm better at angry stuff in Scottish (writing, anyway - my accent sounds horribly English at the moment) so thought I'd give it a go..enjoy. You can listen below, if you can't be bothered reading.
Will she no' just shut her trap?
The wee infuriating nyaff
"Oh, I'm just a little bird," says she
Then stomps her muckle feet wi' glee
She canna take no' being right
She'll pout, and clamour for a fight
But in the end, she'll no last lang
As we a' ken the birdie's wrang