Saturday, 14 April 2012

Escape


When I need an
escape,
I take my box full of
stars and my notebooks
To the rock that juts out
past the cliffs
With the rocky path leading to it
in low tide

And I release the stars so they
Light my sky
And I write in my notebooks until
My pen runs dry

When the tide comes in
I’m trapped again on the rock,
I forget
So distracted by the words and the
starshine
That the blackish waves are rippling
Hush-crash-splash
Against my toes
Surrounded by the sea

And I release my notebooks
onto wetted rocks
And I grab the stars
To put back in their box

When I wade my way
home,
I plan to go back over and over
The same will happen
The ocean eats my words, they
dissolve into its current, and
it keeps my thoughts
in case I need them again

And I will get old
with nostalgic whims
And I will dive deep down
to piece back together the
shreds of thoughts I once had
and pretend I’m still the same person

Friday, 6 April 2012

One More Reason Why...





A couple of weeks ago, my ace friend Caroline Smailes launched her new novel 99 Reasons Why, which has a bit of a difference... remember those Choose Your Own Adventure stories? I loved them. In a sort-of similar vein, Caroline's novel has eleven different endings, from which you pick by either answering a question or (in the iPad version) spinning a wheel. Great concept, right?

I'm proud to be able to show you the eleventh ending here on my blog. If you know Caroline you may have seen this elsewhere, or bought the book already and read them all! But if the title's new to you, read on and enjoy, because it's a bit special. It's about a girl who is employed to spy on a nursery across the street from her house, and is surrounded by all kinds of dodgy characters...

If you fancy reading the rest of the book, you can buy it here:



99: the reason why I was only worth ninety-nine quid


It’s been six days since the little girl in the pink coat went missing and me Uncle Phil’s in me bedroom. We’ve been watching the little girl in the pink coat’s mam on the news. She was appealing to the public for witnesses.

‘Didn’t realise she had a mam,’ I says, looking at me telly.

‘Everyone’s got a mam, pet,’ me Uncle Phil says to me.

‘She sold her story to The Sun,’ I says, looking at me telly.

‘Got a few quid,’ me Uncle Phil says to me.

I nod.

‘She wanted nowt to do with that bairn before all this,’ me Uncle Phil says, looking at me telly.

‘Do you know where she is?’ I asks me Uncle Phil.

‘Belle?’ me Uncle Phil asks me.

I nod.

‘She’s safe,’ me Uncle Phil says to me. ‘Your mam’s keeping an eye on her.’

‘Can I be her mam?’ I asks me Uncle Phil.

‘No, pet, you’re a filthy whore,’ me Uncle Phil says to me.

I nod.

‘Can you make Andy Douglas come back, Uncle Phil?’ I asks me Uncle Phil.

Me Uncle Phil shakes his head.

‘I love him,’ I tell me Uncle Phil.

‘Andy Douglas is your brother, pet. You didn’t seriously think Princess Di was your mam, did you?’ me Uncle Phil asks me.

I nod.

‘You’re a cradle snatcher just like your mam,’ me Uncle Phil says to me.

I nod.

‘Your mam miscarried when she found out I’d been banging Betty Douglas. Betty was expecting you,’ me Uncle Phil says to me.

I don’t speak.

‘When you was born, your mam went mad and I ended up buying you from Betty Douglas for ninety-nine quid,’ me Uncle Phil says.

‘Ninety-nine quid?’ I asks me Uncle Phil.

‘I paid a hundred but got a quid change for some chips for your mam and dad’s tea,’ me Uncle Phil says to me.

‘You bought me?’ I asks me Uncle Phil.

I’m a little bit sick in me mouth.

‘It was the right thing to do,’ me Uncle Phil says to me. ‘I got Betty Douglas pregnant straight away with Andy.’

‘I’m pregnant,’ I says to me Uncle Phil. ‘I’m pregnant with me brother’s baby,’ I says, and then I throws up on me purple carpet.

‘You’re a filthy whore,’ me Uncle Phil says to me.

‘What am I going to do?’ I asks me Uncle Phil.

‘You’re going to have the baby,’ me Uncle Phil says to me.

‘Have me brother’s baby?’ I asks me Uncle Phil.

‘Then I’m giving it to Betty Douglas to bring up,’ me Uncle Phil says to me.

‘You what?’ I says to me Uncle Phil.

‘It’s the right thing to do,’ me Uncle Phil says to me.

‘I can’t—’ I says to me Uncle Phil.

‘It’s either that or I’ll make you disappear,’ me Uncle Phil says to me.

I don’t speak.

I’m thinking, they’re all a bunch of nutters.